1.The extremely tall, extremely butch woman delivering documents. She’d be a good looking man, but she’s a very tall lady. She pulls up in a little white van and she wears slacks and a men’s dress shirt with the collar popped. She wheels out a little document cart stacked with boxes and rolls into the […]

This is the closest thing I could find to Greg’s wife’s ethniticity My wife, the Latina. She’s half Italian, a quarter Maltese, a quarter Mexican and 100% Pachuca. She tells people she’s Latina. Which I guess ¼ of her is. She even has a t-shirt that reads “Latina”. Not "¼ Latina", or "My Dad is […]

The following was discovered by the crackerjack blackmailers and thieves at Industry Nexus Day 1-5: (reported by inmates) Hysterical sobbing, accompanying by alternating cries of “Mom!,” “Why me?” and “I’m too hot to be in prison.” Day 6-8: (reported by inmates) Sniveling, looking for mirrors. Found mirror, screamed at state of hair extensions/roots/pores, rushed back […]

1. Catal Hyük 2. lintel3. the black oak4. Grace Jones5. Corrugated Tin Roofing6. agape7. PEZ8. Chili sauce

yes, I watched the Republican Debates. While I have seldom voted for a Republican (the only I can think of was Richard Riordan, Former Mayor of Los Angeles) I like to know what they have to say. Eternally optimistic, I was really hoping I would hear something inspiring.  Always looking to break from my HMO […]

"At the heart of every blogger is a nude fat man eating cookie dough."- Norman Mailer I am a nudist. I believe in the Beauty all peoples; however tinged they may be on the outside, carry inside them, among their various spleens, bladders and puckered recesses. My gift to the Human Struggle is the inspiration […]

At Crackpot Press we don’t do gossipy shtick but this afternoon had an impact on me. On my somewhat daily voyage to the gym, a few cameramen were hanging out front. This happens from time to time because of the art house movie theater next door. High brow actors often premiere their passion projects there. […]

Below you'll find some Amazon reviews for various Family Circus books written by your truly. I’ve received many, many helpful ratings. Grandma Was Here by BIL KEANE Edition: Paperback Price: $3.99 Availability: This item is currently unavailable. 33 used from $0.78 The thriller that will chill yer to the bones. , March23, 2007 Picture: a […]

Watching television requires a suspension of disbelief. We know that things have to happen in a certain way, in a particular time frame, and that it isn't always possible to pay attention to the little day-to-day stuff like the rest of us have to. But sometimes there are things that only occur on television that […]

In our on-going SMOKING GUN MEMO series, Crackpot Press has uncovered something incredulous at the Toho Fob and Re-Tooling Company. For those who don’t know, Toho has contracts with Boeing, Halliburton and, yes, the United States Armed Forces.