Congratulations Conan! You are now among the 10% of us Americans on unemployment. Like me, you are in Los Angeles, a mighty #4 in the nation behind Detroit, Miami, and our odd cousin to the south, Riverside. Befriend me on Linked In (I’ll give you a reccomendation) and here are some tips to make your unemployment more un-unpleasant.
As one of the unemployed, I champion your nightly vitriolic rant against “the man.” I would have loved to rake my former idiot boss over the coals to millions of folks. That’s awesome. The 35 million of us without jobs all stand up and cheer. You are entitled to bitch this week. Your letter on Tuesday was the most perfectly crafted “shit sandwich” I have ever read. That’s a good thing.
Getting let go stings, doesn’t it? It’s humiliating to get let go from any gig, much less having it done in public. To make matters worse, Jay is acting like some gloaty cheerleader who just got asked by your boyfriend to the prom. That sucks. It’s terrible that your entire staff, who just relocated, will be looking for work next week.
We have a couple of things in common. I was fed to the lions by a co-worker who wanted my job. I had an idiot boss (by the way, he lost his company). I was given a payout worth tens of millions of dollars.
Oh wait, no I wasn’t. I was given my remaining pay for the week and told to have a nice Christmas. Later, I had to beg for my remaining vacation pay.
After the initial shock wears off, the first month of unemployment is pretty fun. You get reacquainted with albums and books you have been ignoring. You spend a little more time in the gym. Find the best sandwich place in your neighborhood.
A year later, not so much. My wife and I have been sharing a one-bedroom in West Hollywood. We can’t afford to upgrade. Remember when you joked about becoming a barista? Have you actually attempted to apply at a Starbucks? They aren’t hiring either. I suppose you could take a temp gig hosting the Emmy’s or something. I’m with three temp agencies and haven’t been able to get an opportunity to work since February.
And I am one of the lucky ones.
So, you took hit. Man up and move on. Work with a charity, I suggest this one.
In any case, stop acting like some privileged Harvard brat who didn’t get a pony at graduation.
You are one of us now. If we can get through it, so can you.