This video is a most joyous celebration of the worst of times as a Hollywood assistant.

Once upon a time, I had a job as a Hollywood Assistant to some pretty fancy people or fancy, pretty people depending on your point of view. With time passing, I sort of look back on these days with a certain amount of nostalgia. Sure, there were some shitty times, staplers thrown at me, attack dogs trying to eat me (yes, really), crappy pay, weirdo people calling me from payphones in New York subways. How did they get my number?

But there were good times too.  The perks were awesome.

Free Nikes or Pumas whenever I wanted them, premiere tickets, starlets flirting with me, strip club adventures with the boys club and the gals who wanted to be in the boy’s club.. I still have my old rolodex (remember those?) with Brad Pitt, Salma Hayek and Jennifer Aniston’s home numbers from ten years ago as the ultimate souvenir. I always remember Salma’s PR asst claiming “If I have to see that gal naked one more time… I’m gonna puke.” How I envied her, still do.

Some things never change.

Enjoy!