We don’t just give these out to just anyone.

#1:You must have a body of work of at least ten years.
#2 You must have made a major impact on society post Dec 6, 1968 (my birthday).
This excludes Gershwin, Malcolm X, Einstein, the Beatles, the Stones and the Who)
#3 You must be a “Crackpot”  The definition of “Crackpot” shall be defined  ONLY by the staff of “Crackpot Press.”

“The Edge… there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.”

For Hunter S. Thompson, we bestow the Number “1,” the same as Billy Martin. They both knew the game was bigger than them but that didn’t stop them from kicking some dirt on the plate. They both played with nothing but passion.

"At the base of it was the urge, if you wanted to play football, to knock someone down, that was what the sport was all about, the will to win closely linked with contact."

George Plimpton, gets the Number “24” the same as Willie Mays. They both had grace, finesse, and guts. They taught us that smarts enhanced physical ability and vice versa.

“There’s no law, no law anymore. I want to steal from the rich and give to the poor” or “Gabba said ‘ You’re weak, said “You’re weak,”’ said ‘You’re one of us’”

The Ramones, we bestow the number ” 3”, the same as Babe Ruth, because what you do off the field is just as important as what you do on the field. No matter what you do, Power and Volume are essentials. I just want to have some kicks, I just want to get some chicks.

"You can't always write a chord ugly enough to say what you want to say, so sometimes you have to rely on a giraffe filled with whipped cream."  Frank Zappa

Frank Zappa gets Rollie Finger’s 34, because primo quality DADA requires a serious ˜stache.” Zappa was the greatest mad scientist composer of the 20th century, if you limit the field to junior college dropouts from the San Bernadino Valley.

He gets extra points for hating hippies back in the sixties, WAY before it was cool.

Rollie was known for his “sharp slider,” need I say more?

"Men and Women are not meant to live together"- Katharine Hepburn 

For Katharine Hepburn we give Ted Williams #9. Ted Williams left baseball to serve in WW2. As a result, he lost his place (statistically) amongst the “D’Maggios” and “Gerhigs” . Hepburn was considered “too feminist” in the 30’s and was labeled “box office poison.” They both battled back. Williams hit a homer on his last at bat. Hepburn hit a homer on her last (real) at bat, “On Golden Pond”

“I just want people to look at me and say ‘There goes the greatest hitter there ever was”- Ted Williams  

Stanley Kubrick gets  San Francisco Giant Juan Marichal’s number 27. Kubrick used imagery to create some of the scariest yet soulful films of all time.

Like Marichal, he was a master of control, his 47 takes of Jack Nicholson breaking through the bathroom door in “The Shining” is legendary. If a truck was driving his master print, it had to be surrounded by four other trucks. In case there was an accident, the other trucks would be smashed instead.

"The foot's up in your face, and that's bad. Then he comes through like a fullback chargin’. He lunges off the hill. Sometimes he even stumbles from the force of his delivery. With all that confusion of motion it's a problem seeing the ball. But his control is a bigger thing. He can throw all day within a two-inch space, in, out, up or down. I've never seen anyone as good as that."
   — Hank Aaron on Juan Marichal

JOE STRUMMER gets Lou Brock’s #20.

If you don’t shoot me down, I get the glory. We’re all Clash City Rockers. Lou Brock is the All-Time Base Stealer in Cooperstown. Some have eclipsed his records…they aren’t in Cooperstown…but they are given the “The Lou Brock Award”.

He just liked to live that way… and he loved to steal your money. We’re all lost in a supermarket in a brand new Cadillac. Knowing your rights is knowing  your career opportunities.

Like Joe Strummer, Lou Brock stole what he didn’t have and then everyone clapped. He was fast…man, he was fast. Joe Strummer reminded you that the glass was half empty. They both took whatever else they needed to fill the glass back up. Steal to make up what you don’t got. No one’s gonna give it to ya.