John. A filthy puppeteer.
John hustles puppet. Hand puppets . Sock puppets.The sort of puppets one associates with church
youth groups and poignantly under-funded hunting safety awareness programs in small, rural school districts.
These are those sorts of puppets, only with syphilis and model airplane glue addictions. Vulgar, profane, angry puppets; puppets that lead innocents astray.
Below, I ask John a bunch of questions about filthy puppets. It may be boring. I just don’t know. Join us, won’t you?
G: Congrats on the opening. And Harvery Finklestein is
now in…New York? Is that right? I’m confused.
J: Thanks. Harvey Finklestein is indeed in NYC, “Harvey Finklestein’s
Sock Puppet Showgirls” running since May 13. In Chicago we just opened “UU7: A Magician Never Tells His Tricks”, which has received an overall pan by the critical community! Ha!!! I guess people in mascot costumes tea-bagging other people in mascot costumes isn’t for everybody!
G: Um, John, holy shit, you’ve built a career on the back of a filthy hand puppet! What is the genesis of the Harvey Finklestein Institute?
J: Beer and a sock puppet version of Oedipus Rex, from there the flower bloomed. We then did a sock puppet version of the MGM film “Showgirls”, told in 45 minutes
G: Has any audience members died in a gruesome or unsettling way during a performance?
J: Not that I know of. But once people showed up with home made t-shirts and pennants on sticks that they waved during the show.
G: From where does Harvey “make”?
J: His penis
G: Are there multiple Harveys?
J: No, there can be only one Harvey Finklestein. That’s why he’s kept in a plastic Ziplock freezer bag.
G: Does he get laundered much?
J: Never been washed, I guess that’s why he’s so filthy! Did I just say that?
G: Has Harvey evolved over time?
J: Yeah… he started out as a “Damn-it!” Doll, then he turned into a
loud-foulmouthed-insulter, and finally to a dirty and perverted puppet who speaks with an english accent (which I believe gets worse as time goes on. A-heh.
G: Have you ever had any walk-outs or outrage from tight-sphinctered types?
J: Yes. Last friday 10 minutes in a couple walked out – no refunds. The first show (a-heh) a group of six left after a young lady was overheard to utter “I can’t handle this! I’ve got to get out of here.” No outrage as of yet.
G: Have any confused people ever brought their kids to see the lovely puppets?
J: People have asked if HFSPS was for kids. And this happened when we were playing at midnight.
G: You’ve got a new production, UU7: A Magician Never Tells His Tricks,
that just debuted in Chicago.
What the hell is it about?
J: It’s a parody of the James Bond genre.
G: Now with uu7, you’re incorporating life-sized puppets and a live band. At any point in conceiving the production did you find yourself thinking, “Wow. This has potential of being really gay”?
J: No, but now I do.
G: Were any things taken out because of excessive gayness?
J: Yes. All the (a-heh) stuff about you.
G: Are there jugglers or cat trainers?
J: We’re working on that.
G: So now you’re running a two-city empire. Do you spend a lot of time in New York?
J: No. Once every couple of months maybe for two nights. Last October I commuted from Chicago to do the show on weekends for three weeks, which lost it’s appeal during the second week, as I blew projectile vomit pizza chunks into the just opened La Guardia airport mens room at 6 am on a monday morning.
G: Do New Yorkers have a different response to the show?
J: Yes. they are willing to pay $15 at the box office.
G: As an impresario, do you get to wear a cape and monocle now?
J: How did you guess?
G: Do you interject (a-heh) randomly in conversation?
J: Yes, of course
G: Several years ago on our shared birthday, you and I
protested irrational traffic patterns on during the
morning commute. We stood on Pleasant Hill Road with
signs, shaking our fists at traffic. I think we made adifference. What about you?
J: I sleep better at night thinking we did, always have.
If that wasn’t the right thing to do, then there’s just something plain
ol’ wrong in this America we live in.